


5 Times Logan Didn’t Speak And 1 Time He Did:

by love_write_edit_sleep



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Insecurity, M/M, Multi, Muteness, Mutism, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, selective mute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-20
Updated: 2018-11-25
Packaged: 2019-08-26 18:42:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 3,199
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16686868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/love_write_edit_sleep/pseuds/love_write_edit_sleep
Summary: Logan refuses to speak after a rough argument amongst Thomas and the other Sides. The Sides try and correct their mistake...





	1. Virgil

**Author's Note:**

> So, I really like the idea of Logan being insecure about how much he talks and so I did this.

As much as Virgil would love to blame Roman solely for this one, he knew it wasn’t Roman’s fault. It was all of them. They’d all caused it.

They’d all broken Logan.

It all happened when a Sanders Sides video went bad. Logan pointed out the facts, Roman criticised them, Virgil ignored them, and Patton spoke over him. So, when Logan cried “Why doesn’t anyone listen to me anymore?”, and Roman responded with “Because we’re sick of you lecturing us all the time!”, it wasn’t really a surprise that Logan spat “If that’s how you all feel…” and sunk out.

He hadn’t spoken since.

Virgil looked up from his phone for the twelfth time, peering over his screen and the back of the couch, and over to where Logan sat at the table, scribbling furiously on multiple papers, a look of complete and total concentration on his face.

“What’re you working on?” Virgil asked suddenly. Logan jumped before turning to face the anxious side. He shifted slightly, writing one final thing before standing and handing over the papers. Virgil took them cautiously and read them. “Christmas present ideas? But that’s my department.” Virgil looked back up at Logan, who nodded.

“So… why are _you_ doing it?” Virgil asked, passing the papers back. Logan shook his head and passed the papers back to Virgil with a small smile. “I don’t…” Logan pushed the papers into Virgil’s hands almost desperately. “Are these… For me?” Virgil blinked in realisation. Logan nodded.

Virgil couldn’t believe it. Logan had sat down and written out a list of gift ideas for Thomas’ friends for Christmas so he didn’t have to panic about it this year, like he usually did.

And after all they’d done to him…

“I… thanks, L.” Virgil forced a smile, which Logan returned. But Logan’s smile was as fake as Virgil’s, and they both knew it. “Really, thank you. This means a lot.”

Logan’s smile grew a tiny bit.


	2. Patton

Patton felt as bad as Virgil did.

He looked up to Logan, he really did. The teacher-like side was always just… fascinating, and he was such a mystery to Patton. He wanted to know everything there was to know about Logan.

But now it seemed he’d never have the chance…

He hadn’t meant to speak over Logan, to let emotions spoke over logic, and especially after the Nostalgia video… He couldn’t help but feel guilty, and responsible, for Logan’s sudden silence.

The logical side was currently lying on the sofa, sheets of paper having scattered from his hands as he drifted off. Patton decided to let him sleep, picking up the sheets of paper as quietly as he could.

When he tried to reorder the papers, however, he froze.

One of the papers had his name on. 

 

> **_Patton:_ **
> 
> _Likes: Dogs, cats, affection, puns, dad jokes, onesies, puppets, family (Virgil especially)_
> 
> _Dislikes: Conflict, falsehoods, self-depreciation, hurting people_
> 
> _Main Traits: Childlike, innocent, positive (but often hides when he feels down), often copies other people_

There were a few other subheadings: Interests, Fears, Relationships with the other sides. The papers were full of lists about him, about his personality. Not just his, but Roman’s and Virgil’s too. As though he were making personality files about each of them…

Patton scanned the pages, looking for one name in particular. He practically gasped when he found it.

 

> **_ Logan (Myself):  
>  _ **
> 
> _Likes: Being right, Crofters, meeting deadlines, word association games, vocabulary, being heard_
> 
> _Dislikes: Being ignored, being spoken over, emotions,_ ~~_Roman_~~ _, making mistakes, infinitesimal_
> 
> _Main Traits: Speaks too much_

That must have been where Logan fell asleep, Patton thought, as Logan hadn’t finished the list. Unless… that was the only trait Logan thought he had…? Patton felt his eyes well at the thought. Had they really been that blind, that _cruel_ to Logan…?

Patton knew what had to be done.

* * *

Logan suddenly shot up, gasping slightly as he looked around the room.

“Hey, Logan.” Patton smiled kindly. “How’re you feeling?” Logan just blinked at him. “You got a little too comfortable on that there couch. Don’t worry, I finished your work for you.” Patton beamed as he stood. “I’ll go get you some water. It’s important to look after yourself, get plenty of rest, and stay hydrated!”

Logan watched as Patton ran off towards the kitchen before turning to the pile of papers on the coffee table in front of him. Cautiously, he picked them up and scanned them. They seemed alright. Except…

The final paper, the one with his list, had been scribbled on in bright blue crayon.

 

> _Main Traits: ~~Speaks too much~~_ _, Intelligent, valid, serious (Necktie!), kind, works a lot_
> 
> _Interests: Science (Especially astrology), Mathematics, Sherlock Holmes_
> 
> _Fears: Being unimportant (You are important!), showing emotion, and making mistakes (Both are okay!)_
> 
> _Relationships with other sides: Fam I-L-Y!_

Logan blinked at the papers, looking up at Patton, who was busy trying to find a glass, then back to his papers. His heart swelled in his chest as he traced his thumb over the word ‘Fam I-L-Y’. He didn’t even mind that Patton had accidentally written astrology instead of astronomy.

“I finally found a glass! We need to put them somewhere _clearer_! Get it? Because glasses are clear?”

Logan shook his head fondly and quickly put the papers back on the table, waiting for Patton without saying a word.


	3. Thomas

“Logan, I need your help.”

Logan popped up in front of Thomas, crossing his arms in his usual ‘let’s get down to business’ pose. Thomas smiled from where he sat on the couch, laptop balancing on his lap, covered in cookie crumbs.

“Hey, Logan. How’re you doing?”

Logan responded by smiling slightly and nodding.

Thomas knew about Logan’s silence. He knew because Virgil, Patton and Roman popped up in a panic one night, crying over each other that Logan was refusing to talk to anyone. Thomas had tried to speak to Logan, only to get the same response as the others.

“That’s great. I, um… need a little help proof-reading this letter. Can you, maybe, help me? Please?”

Logan nodded, moving around to sit beside Thomas. Thomas handed his laptop over to Logan, who started reading the letter without a word.

“Thanks for agreeing to do this, Logan…” Thomas smiled, looking up at his logical side. Logan nodded slightly, adjusting his glasses before reading through a letter Thomas had written while Thomas watched Logan intently.

> _ Logan, _
> 
> _ I know it’s not easy being logic, especially when everyone has a lot to argue against you, but I need you. We all do.  _
> 
> _ You might feel like no one wants to listen to you, but we do… Patton looks up to you, Roman thinks you’re cool, and Virgil loves debating with you. And… I owe you so much, Logan.  _
> 
> _ You’ve always been there to teach me so many interesting things and stop me from doing things that I probably shouldn’t, and show me where I went wrong before so I can do things right the next time. You always make sure deadlines are met and that things are organised, and it’s probably thanks to you that I’m alive and well today. _
> 
> _ We didn’t mean to make you feel like this. You’re as important as all the sides, and without you, well… no offence to the others but can you imagine what I’d be like without you?  _
> 
> _ Take your time, no one’s going to force you to push yourself. You do what you gotta do, and if you gotta stop talking for a while, or longer, then that’s okay! We’re all here to support you. _
> 
> _ Thomas. _

Logan blinked and handed the laptop back to Thomas, who continued to watch Logan. For a moment, the logical side was stoic, staring ahead, until he brought a hand to his glasses and removed them, wiping away unshed tears from his eyes.

“Lo…? You okay?” Thomas whispered. Logan nodded, sniffing as he put on his glasses. He stood, nodded gratefully, and sunk out. 

Thomas sighed, turning his attention back to the laptop to turn it off, when he noticed a small text at the bottom of the letter, in dark blue font.

> _ Thank you, Thomas. _
> 
> _ \- Logan _

Thomas smiled to himself as he closed the laptop. Perhaps he could indulge in some Crofters, and a second cookie.


	4. Roman

Roman knew he’d messed up.

He knew the second he spat those cursed words at Logan, when Logan’s expression bore resemblance to that of a Hero betrayed by his sidekick, that he’d hurt him. Badly.

Logan’s determined silence had stuck Roman like a sword through the heart, slowly bleeding him out until he was left with guilt and fear; Fear that he had stolen Logan’s voice forever.

He was no prince. He was a villain, and not a good one.

There were no fairy tales about princes becoming evil and hurting their loved ones… Except for The Lion King, when Scar overthrew his favoured brother and heir, Mufasa, to become King-

What if that was what he was doing? What if, subconsciously, he was trying to overthrow Logan, make Thomas listen to him more, become the favoured side? What if he really  _ was _ a villain…? Did he really have that kind of cruelty in him…? Did he-

A clap in front of his eyes dragged Roman from his dungeon of dark thoughts and back to the present, where Logan stood in front of him, a concerned look on his face. Roman blinked, unsure to what to say. Only when Logan offered him a tissue did Roman realise he was crying.

“Why don’t you hate me?” Roman whispered, taking the tissue and wiping his eyes. Logan shifted nervously as Roman all but burst into tears. ”I didn't mean what I said, Logan, I swear on my life… I never wanted  _ this _ …” Roman buried his face in his hands. ”I don't want to be a villain!” 

A weight on his head caused Roman to pull his head out of his hands and look at Logan sceptically before reaching up and pulling whatever it was off his head to look at it. If he’d gasped out loud, he wasn’t aware. His attention had been stolen by the most beautiful crown he’d ever laid his eyes on. 

The crown was bright gold with red rubies across the middle, and in the fancifully crafted tops. Pearls lined the swirling gold patterns in the crown. It was obvious that a lot of thought had gone into its design. 

”Logan, I…” Roman was, once again, at a loss for words. ”I love it…” Logan smiled slightly, adjusting his glasses. ”Lo, if I could give you my voice to make up for the damage I've caused, I would do it in a heartbeat.”

This was always the worst part; When he can clearly imagine Logan’s reaction. ’Bold of you to think I’d want your voice.’ or ’We don't have heartbeats, so that means as much to me as an empty jar of Crofters.’

But instead, Logan simply nodded gratefully and sunk out. 

When Roman was certain he was alone, he broke down once more, clutching the crown tightly in his hands as he sobbed. 

He didn’t want to be the villain…


	5. Logan

Logan flopped onto his bed, staring up at the ceiling as though it would give him all the answers.

Why wasn’t anyone happy?

> _ ”So… What do I do, guys?” _
> 
> _ “Well, first, we need to approach this logically.” _
> 
> _ “Logic isn’t the answer to everything, Professor Problematic!” _
> 
> _ “I am aware. All I’m trying to say is-“ _
> 
> _ “Oh, oh, I have an idea!” _
> 
> _ “Go for it, com-padre!” _
> 
> _ “What? Why doesn’t anyone listen to me anymore?” _
> 
> _ “Because we’re all sick and tired of you lecturing us all the time!” _
> 
> _ “If that’s how you all feel…” _

Logan thought he’d done the right thing. The others didn’t like him talking, so, logically, the way to solve that problem was to stop talking. Become more likeable. The others would be happier, thus making him happier.

But none of them were happy.

Virgil had been keeping a very close eye on him since he stopped talking, trying to be in the same room as Logan whenever possible. He tried to talk to Logan, maybe to encourage him to talk, or to just keep in touch with him, but Logan only ever responded with gestures.

Patton was overly emotional, often bursting into tears when Logan communicated wordlessly. Logan noticed that Patton avoided making eye contact with him when they spoke. When they did, just fleetingly, Patton would make an excuse and sink out.

Roman seemed to wallow in self-pity and apologised to Logan at every opportunity. His creativity started going downhill, unable to focus on anything but how badly he messed up and how he didn't want to be a villain. He never took his crown off.

Thomas tried his best to be supportive, but Logan could tell he was worried. Thomas summoned him first thing every morning, talking to him as he made breakfast, reminding him that it was okay to take his time and do what he needed to feel comfortable, as long as he was doing it for him, and not for the others.

Logan missed talking.

Words and vocabulary were…  _ Him _ . He loved to talk, to share his knowledge, to teach Thomas new things, to guide Thomas through his problems to apply logic and reasoning to each of Thomas’ thoughts. 

He was nothing without his words. 

So… If not talking hurt the others, and talking also hurt the others, then what was he supposed to do about that? If both solutions resulted in the same result, and said result was a bad one, then logically… There was no answer. 

It didn't matter what he did, because both had the same effect.

Logically, he  _ should  _ speak… But… He didn't want to face the others about it. He didn't want to admit he made a mistake, that being silent  _ didn't  _ help… Who would take him seriously then? After refusing to speak because of a stupid comment?

What if they didn't want him to speak again? Logan sighed, picking himself up and adjusting his tie.

He had to talk to them. 


	6. Fam-I-L-Y

“Ah! Logan!” Thomas gasped, his hand over his heart. Logan winced, backing away slightly. “No, no, Logan! I’m sorry, I just didn’t expect you to just pop up. Are you… Are you okay?” Logan felt a pang in his chest, something that had happened frequently recently. Thomas looked really concerned… Logan sighed and shook his head.

“That’s okay, do you wanna talk about it?” Thomas asked. Logan nodded, looking around the room at where the others usually stood. “Hey, you want me to summon the others?” Logan nodded again, turning his gaze to the floor. Thomas smiled in understanding. 

“Patton! Roman! Virgil!”

“Why do you always call Patton first?” Roman groaned, adjusting his crown.

“Because he’s the favourite.”

“No, Virgil! I’m not- No one’s the favourite!”

“Um… Guys…”

“Not now, Thomas-“

“Logan…?” Patton suddenly gasped upon spotting the logical side. Roman and Virgil stopped, going deathly silent as they turned to see Logan standing anxiously.

“Hey, you okay…?” Virgil asked softly. Logan glanced up at the other sides, taking in their concerned expressions before taking a deep breath.

“I’m sorry…”

Patton gasped, his hands flying to his mouth to cover the noise. Virgil stared at Logan, not sure how to react. Thomas smiled to himself, knowing he was in for some pure fam-i-l-y content, and that was just what they all needed. Roman stood, his mouth agape in shock as his eyes welled with unshed tears.

“You spoke…” Roman choked. “I-I thought… Logan, I am so… So sorry.”

“After your… comment, a few days ago, I thought the logical thing to do would be to stop talking, as it seemed to be in everyone’s best interests. None of you wanted to hear my points, so I ceased making them.’ He waited to be interrupted, but no-one spoke.

“I figured since my points were constantly belittled, or spoken over, or ignored, that you would prefer I didn’t speak at all… However, you were all equally upset that I stopped talking, and now… I am not sure what you want me to do… Nothing I do is right…”

“Oh, Logan…!” Patton cried, suddenly throwing his arm around Logan. Roman wiped his eyes with his sleeves, swallowing his pride.

“I was so stupid… I didn’t think about what I was saying, about the consequences… I didn’t think at all… I never wanted to be the villain. I’m so sorry, Logan…”

”But… It is I who should be apologising.”

“No, it’s not.” Patton whispered, pulling away.

“Yeah, you didn’t do anything wrong.” Virgil spoke up. “We were rude and inconsiderate, and that’s not your fault. Sometimes, we just don’t want to listen to the logical answers because, most of the time, you’re right, and we don’t… We don’t really want you to be…”

“Like how I want a dog,” Thomas added, “And Patton and Roman think it’s a great idea, but you know I can’t support a dog right now, and I don’t want to accept that because I just want a dog.”

“We’re all important to Thomas, and you… You’re mostly right about a lot of things because, well, you’re smart and mathematical and you know things.” Roman muttered. “And… It kinda makes us feel stupid, but we all make valid points! It’s not that you drag us down or anything-“

“Pump the brakes, Princey.” Thomas smiled softly. Roman shut up.

“I… apologise… I had no idea I hurt you all so badly.”

“No, hey!”

“That’s not true!”

“You’re not that bad.” Roman, Patton and Virgil spoke over each other, surprising Logan. Logan blinked, his eyes burning. 

“I just… don’t know what to do… I don’t know what you want.” Logan whispered. “You don’t like it when I talk, you don’t like it when I don’t…”

“Logan, we just want you to be you.” Patton whispered. ”You shouldn't have to change for anyone, especially your family.” Logan looked up at Patton hopefully.

”You consider me to be a part of your family...?”

”Oh, Logan!”

”Of course we do!” Roman cried.

”You didn't think…? Geez, L…”

”I-I didn't think you'd want me-” Logan cut himself off as tears rolled down his face. ”I-I seem to be compromised…”

”No, Logan, you're just crying, which is okay.” Patton smiled, hugging Logan again. This time, Virgil and Roman joined in, all of them giving Logan a long overdue fam-i-l-y hug. 

Thomas watched with a smile as Logan tearfully hugged them all back, muttering shaky apologies to each side as they showered him with love and support. 

”Roman…” Logan eventually whispered, pulling away. The sides gave him space. ”I don't want you to believe you are a villain. You are… A noble, strong and courageous…  _ prince _ …”

”You… Really think that, Logan?” Roman blushed slightly. 

”No.” Logan adjusted his glasses. Roman’s smile faltered. ”I  _ know  _ that.” 

Logan smirked smugly, and Roman nearly cried there and then. Instead, he conjured a silver crown, lined with dark blue sapphire stones and black pearls, and placed it atop Logan’s head with a fond smile.

”You’re a royal pain in the neck, but we wouldn't have you any other way.”


End file.
